i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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