Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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