A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
