me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
