hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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