she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
