How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
