why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
