I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
