She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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