i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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