i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Still dying that you shit outside
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
