shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
