so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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