i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
well you can't waste a boner
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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