I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
