Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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