whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
