dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
