Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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