I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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