I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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