well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
How external is "for external use only"?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
