the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
