i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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