For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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