hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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