we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
