I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
