youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
