he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
