Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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