I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
