its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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