just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
