Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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