he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
