Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
