sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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