hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
