Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
