is your mom at the bar?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
