sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
