apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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