We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
