I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
