On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
