I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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