I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
