You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
