We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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