Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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