Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
