tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
