So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
