i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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